I'm a little embarrassed to say that I think my honeymoon stage is over. There are things that I've encountered in Japan, working and living, that I'm just not too fond of. It's embarrassing to realize that things were and are not perfect here in Japan. The hype that I bought into (maybe that's too harsh). The excitement that I felt before coming here is not the same as I feel now.
I mean there are daily things I get excited about! My city is amazingly beautiful and the friends that I've made and am getting to know are awesome as well!
check out some photos: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2012562&id=151900452&l=740ce4adb7
It may have been the whole: doing something new, teaching (what I love), traveling (what I love) and learning a new language (what I love) aspect of coming here. But, as I sit and complain, I realize: those things are still prominent.
Life, unfortunately, is not perfect. We, as humans are not perfect. I mean, I'm almost perfect, but not quite there yet lol. Seriously, though. Crap happens. We get excited about new choices and do hours upon hours of research and dive in to a new decision. We'll always have reservations about our new choices and sometimes those reservations hold to be true.
So, now that some of my reservations are all up in ma face what do I do?
I feel as though by some things not being as perfect as they could or as I thought they would be, I'm a failure. Or that I'm fickle for not wanting to continue.
But, then I realized... I'm 26 years old. Jennifer Rae told me that 25 was a sexy age (I agreed, then I turned 26... so I guess it's sexy with one year experience?). Anyway, what I think she was getting at was 25 is a sense of maturity. You're no longer a baby and you're still at your peak in life. Still in your 20's but not early twenties. 26 is even better because I can officially say I'm grown.
So, back to my realization: just because I'm apt to try new things then peace them out when they aren't as good as I expect them to be doesn't make me fickle. It makes me smart. I'm 26 years old, I have my Masters in Education, I have a loving family, friends, beautiful boyfriend and the most adorable nephew one could ask for. I feel like I've been given situations that I only need to be in for a while; those situations get me to my next step in life. Sometimes I get discouraged because I'm doing a waiting game! I wait for a phone call, for my pay check, to transfer money...to hear God, for Friday... But I guess I should: enjoy today for tomorrow has it's own troubles more often...
One of the best parts about my life is that I've been given a gift of discernment and the understanding that things happen for a reason, in a season. Not just for a reason, but some things have to happen only for a season.
So... the past year I've had so many different seasons that I've gone through. Some of which I could live without, some of which I needed to grow. I've lived and traveled everywhere searching to find myself and a job lol.
The point to my rant is that I'm going through different seasons. I'm waiting for my main goal in life to happen and until then, I am going to enjoy the ride. BUT that doesn't mean I will settle for just anything. No no no... I'm 26, I'm grown. You get to a point in life where settling is not okay.
AND if that makes me look fickle, then so be it. I'd like to think I'm wise...
For the record, waiting for what you truly want SUCKS! But enjoying the things put in place to help you get to where you really want HELPS lol!
Ganbatte
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