Rice and Vegetables

I find that the closer to payday I get, the less money I have. Especially the last two months. With August's check being less than half of my regular pay check (thank you air borne illnesses), I've been scrimping and saving most of October. I'm okay with that though. I've paid all my bills and sent money back to the states. I got to have fun with people. No traveling this week of vacation, but next week will make up for that.

All I've been eating for the past week, however, has been rice and vegetables. And every once and a while I'll remember I have pasta to make pasta and all kinds of sauces. But, the spaghetti has been eaten and my coffee filter has been used twice in two days. I almost feel like a college student all over again. This, is NOT, intended. It is what it is.

I've made so many great things with rice and vegetables. I made fried rice balls (mmmm yummy) with a great spicy sauce. The next day, I made sweet rice (no vegetables). Hmmm after that, I had a meal of soup with rice in it. I flavored it like one might tortilla soup. It was a delight and lasted for three meals. The sauce really makes the rice. I never thought I'd enjoy rice so much and I'm getting better at not burning the rice at the bottom of the pot. Upon cleaning my drain (well taking out the food catcher from my drain...handy little bags) I found that after soaking all the burned rice from the pots, I could have easily eaten one and a half servings. So, I'm cooking the rice a little shorter.

I don't look at it as a matter of survival but an amazing opportunity to be creative. So, for a few more days: rice and vegetables it will be.

I can't help but crave hamburgers and chicken though. It is what it is.

In less exciting news. I took my first bath today. The Japanese style of bathing generally consists of washing down in a shower that is connected to a short (my legs were definitely bent) and very deep bathtub. So, as I was sitting and freezing while watching Gilmore Girls, I decided to finally use this bathtub.

It was amazing. As soon as I steered my mind away from the heavy water against my chest, I relaxed. For about five minutes. I guess I'm not a bath girl. It's like my own mini spa. And I'm glad I experienced it.

My vacation has been so relaxing. A little boring at times. But already full of drama (and I didn't even leave my apartment yesterday but to go running and check my mail). Monday, I wait for thee. I will be going to Tokyo, then Kyoto and off to South Korea...

Until then..I relax and enjoy not having to move from my bed if I don't want to.

The lighter side of things...The rubbing of the skin

I've been under the impression that the lighter you are in Japan, the better. I've seen women wear white stockings to complement their white legs and blue veins. I've seen women hold up an umbrella to the cloudy days of Nagasaki. So, being the opposite of white, I figured, I'd be frowned upon.

On the contrary...

I went to visit my friend at his bar. I'm standing, talking, laughing...probably eating and I feel a slight rubbing on my arm. It's no big deal. The bar is packed, people bump into each other. Then I feel it again. It turns out, this guy standing next to me is rubbing my arm. I have no idea what he says to me as my Japanese listening skills are as bad as they come...maybe. The bar tender laughs then swats his hand away.

I've noticed this a lot lately. The rubbing of the skin. I guess. It is what it is. Just another thing that amuses me in Japan.

Oh Japan...how I love thee.

Why I believe... and Why I love Glee

Ever since I watched last week's episode of Glee, I've been going back and forth on why I believe in Who I believe in and What I believe in.

And the conclusion is the same every time.

I've had a lot of thinking time as I've been walking/running the 1.5 hours to work every day the last six days. It was hard, walking through mountains and through tunnels and past the biggest spiders I've ever seen in life. OMG these things were huge. I think I spent the majority of my time gawking and silently screaming. Anyway, one day, I opened myself up to the idea that: as long as that spider sits nicely in its web, I'll walk by it without wanting to run.

And as soon as I did that, God spoke to me. It wasn't your stereotypical heavens opened, lights beamed and a big deep voice from above called down to me. It was more of a conscious thing. A small, still voice that said: If you give it room, it will grow as big as that space is. I realized this as I looked and the giantness (that's a new word) of this spider and how LARGE its web was and just how much space it had to build this web (which was my height and wider than me) and how it perched, right in the middle of it; enjoying the breeze just as I was. And I realized that if we give ourselves the chance, if we cling onto our webs and build them as big as we can, we too, will grow. We may need some help though...

So...
I believe because when I was a child, bad things happened to me. As a teenager, worse things happened to me. As an adult...
I believe because human beings are horrible, selfish beings that kill for their own good. That rape and molest children. That eat when they are too full to breathe. That make fun of others when they feel insecure. But can show compassion to people they do not know. That will risk their lives to save others. That will fight with a person who has been molested or raped just to make sure they get through.
I believe because when I was growing up, something inside me stayed strong. No matter what happened to me, I got through it. I held onto my belief, to that feeling of peace and love that overwhelmed me when I felt no one else loved me and it got me through those dark times. There's no way I could have ever made it without it.
I believe because no human being could ever fill the void of never knowing my father or losing the love of my life. I believe because my friends call me their Angel. I believe because no matter how screwed up a human being I am, someone is there to say: it's okay.

I believe because on the outside I look fine and on the inside I feel fine despite the fact that I should be in shambles.

Life is so very hard especially when things happen that you can't control. Or when you do things that you should never be forgiven for. Or when you have no money to pay for medical bills.

I believe because when life hits me, I have something stronger that gets me through and God not only gets me through, he provides the patience and strength I need to keep going.

Everyone is entitled to believe in what they believe in and yes grilled Cheesus, you are delicious, but I don't think you prompted Rachel to let Finn touch her boobs... but I truly believe in God. I believe in Jesus as my savior and you would too... if you could only walk in my shoes.

And in Japan, that's highly unlikely because I have boat feet compared to the locals (except that one girl and two men I've seen)...

I believe because when I'm crying, I end up laughing at the fact that this pain is just temporary.
I believe in Love and all good things.
Boom! (love ya cousin).

I love Glee!